Blue
Valentine (2010)
Stars:
Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams, John Doman
This film reminded me of Marriage Story (2019) obviously
made nearly decade after Blue Valentine.
Blue Valentine is an uncomfortable viewing, but if it helps you avoid
pitfalls its worth it. The movie jumps back and
forth between different points in a couple’s relationship showing the audience
how things became the way they are. Superior
acting by both leads with Ryan possessing a James Dean-like vulnerability. They
are both pin-up material if teens did that sort of thing anymore – its too easy
to get whatever picture you want right on your PC now. Something gained, but
something lost.
The serenade scene was smashing. We spend so much time searching for Prince
Charming then marry the one with the good job in proximity if we marry at all
anymore.
We go to the movies – many of us – to escape reality.
Its good to get the focus
off ourselves.
This is why its better to give than to receive. Comfortable as voyeurs (not a bad thing), we
let the rich and famous distract us for a while until we have time to vacation ourselves. I’ve never been to Disney World nor do I care
if I ever go. If I do it will be for the
grand kids and to spend time with them. What
most of us fail to realize is our normal routines are wonderful gifts we should
enjoy more than we do. Think about it --
restaurants and coffee joints keep much of the populace going as we race here
and there. Its where people meet and
fall in love doing normal things. Nothing
but sex is more intimate than eating and playing together. Road trips and vacations are the distractions
from normal life. I find great comfort
in my routines and seeing familiar faces and its nice to meet new faces here
and there of course. I think alcohol and
smoking etc are fine in moderation, but sadly destroy far more than they heal
in the long run. Communication is very
hard in any generation. This film may be
true of many folks, but it doesn’t have to be this way. We are all selfish beings, but once married we
now serve each other and can’t keep score of good and bad stuff that
occurs. Both must put the other first or
its doomed from the start. As the movie
points out trouble finds us all. Its how
we handle it that makes all the difference.
If either person gives in to temptations to cheat or stop working on the
relationship its already too late. A
good vibrant relationship takes time daily and doing stuff. My wife and I enjoy walks, renting bikes,
getting coffee and talking with strangers, overnights at BNBs, and watching our
favorite TV shows together and taking in an occasional movie. Love is a choice though and takes both parties
to work. As soon as either person gives
up its over no matter what the other person does or doesn’t do. Love must be more than a feeling or its
worthless. Love is a choice. Feeling’s ebb and flow in everyone. This is why we vow in good or bad times to
stick it out and keep working at it in good faith. People say if its right it should just come
easylike. That’s a lie. Was this movie put together easylike? No, it took years of preparation and money
and hundreds of people in all kinds of expertise to put this movie together. Anything worthwhile takes time and lots of
effort. Does each meal you eat prepare
itself? No. Does fresh drinking water just appear in your
faucet by magic? No. Everything good takes blood sweat and
tears. Prayer is powerful but even with
prayer we need to give God time to work.
Remember keep serving God – not even God will override free will so when
folks sin its not God’s fault. Treat
them like you’d like to be treated and keep on doing good and working hard. Smile as often as you can even if you don’t
feel like it. Some will say that’s being
unreal or fake. Well sometimes we have
to fake it until we do feel like it.
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